I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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