id be glad to
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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