i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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