i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
