I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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