Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
