i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
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waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
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he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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