Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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