I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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