I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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