i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
