Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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