I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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