All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Are my feet made of real feet?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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