i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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