next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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