you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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