Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
