I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
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Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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