I will die if light touches me.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
