Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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