How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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