Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
