Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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