The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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