ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
