Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there was a trapeze. enough said
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
