He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
