Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
