Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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