You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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