Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
