"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
