I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
