Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize