I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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