if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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