I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
