I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just want to make out with him forever
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
