If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
