DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
