i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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