Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
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Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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