I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize