I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
