Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
