Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
