i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
