Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
this hospital has no fireball
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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