She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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