So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
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