At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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