i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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