i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize