My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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