Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
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