yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just want nice things and good sex
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Dicks are not precious.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
