But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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