He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
