I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
