like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.