Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair

(573): View more from Missouri

Found more tequila

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.

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(315): View more from New York

My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(831): View more from California

period poops. best. ever.

(925): View more from California

omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...

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(212): View more from New York

ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?

(1-212): View more from New York

this is Aaron, hi

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(240): View more from Maryland

just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"

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(712): View more from Iowa

there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen

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