i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
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I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
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That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.