I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
