TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?