Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
