I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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