My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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