Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
