it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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