i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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