i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
