I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
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