sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he shaved USA in his pubs
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
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I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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