There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
