When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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